When I first became a single mom, I struggled HARD with myself on Mother’s Day.
I felt sad that there was nobody to surprise me with crafts with my baby’s sweet little feet prints.
I felt guilty that there was nobody to help my daughter(s) wake up and make me a Mother’s Day breakfast, guilty that they have nobody to help them plan the day they want to give me. (I grew up with a kick ass single mom, and every year on Mother’s Day, I always felt a little bit sad for my mom that we couldn’t provide gifts for her, and we tried to make it up by cooking and cleaning.)
I felt frustrated and overwhelmed that I didn’t get my day to relax, sleep in, and be pampered.
I felt unimportant because there wasn’t another person acknowledging me and saying “Hey, take the day off, today is about you.”
As I have many times as a single parent, part of me felt left out.
And feelings those feelings, made me feel so so selfish.
I know that Mother’s Day isn’t really about the gifts, the gestures, the pampering- it’s about celebrating mothers. And I decided to change my perspective. There is no reason I can’t celebrate myself.
Now, I embrace this holiday as I do all of the other days- I squeeze every ounce of happiness, excitement and celebration that I can out of it. Here’s how I changed my attitude towards Mother’s Day as a single mom.
1. Take charge to help the kids make a Mother’s Day gift
I LIVE for homemade crafts from my kids. I have more items stamped with their little hand and feet prints than any person probably should. The first time I received a homemade gift from my daughter, I cried a little bit. That’s how much I love them.
I have gone about helping my kids with their gifts to me a number of ways.
I am lucky enough to have a family that steps up for me on Mother’s Day, so I have goaded my sister’s into helping my kids prepare me a gift before. (Last year, I bought plain picture frames and a sign that said “I love my mom because…” and my sister let my girls paint them and fill in the sentence on the sign, then took their picture and put it in the frame. SO sweet.)
If you don’t have anybody willing to help (or just don’t want to ask), it can be just as fun helping them make a gift as it is receiving it. This weekend, we spent a few hours making my gift. The girls helped me pick out flowers, then we sat outside in the sun and painted hands and I let them decorate a hanging basket for our backyard. I am in love with how it turned out. This works well for moms of babies and toddlers. Be sure to take lots of pictures!
Since they wanted to surprise me, I also set out paper and markers and they made me a card that I have yet to see, but I know it will be perfect.
2. Buy yourself a gift
You work hard all year long, you deserve it. TONS of stores have specials for moms on their special day, so take advantage.
Today is the day to pick up your favorite chocolate or treat yourself to an overpriced latte.
I love to buy myself and girls matching dresses for Mother’s Day. And I am guilt free about spending the money, because I count it as a gift to myself for being awesome.
You can also google local businesses to see who is giving away Mother’s Day freebies.
3. Pamper yourself
Whether this be by ordering take out so that you don’t have to cook or clean, going to get your toes manicured, or just soaking in the tub with a bath bomb and a candle lit nearby, find a way to pamper yourself- you deserve it.
4. Spend the day doing something you love
Hike, lay on a blanket in the sunshine, take the kids to your favorite restaurant and let somebody wait on you, spend hours browsing the aisles at Target, put on family movies, get dressed up, don’t change out of pajamas- there are no rules!
5. Let go of the guilt
Don’t let expectations of how things should be take away from the wonderful blessings that are.
You deserve to be showered with love, pampered, and celebrated; it doesn’t matter who initiates the celebrating.Your kids WANT to celebrate you.
This weekend, my daughter asked if Mother’s Day could be Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday this year because she wanted me to have more than one day to celebrate (bless her), and to this I say HELL YEAH!
So be selfish. Ask for what you want. Make the day that you dream of happen for yourself. And know that by taking control of your day, you will be spending it doing what YOU want to do.
To your kids, you are a caretaker, boo-boo kisser, referee, chauffer, errand runner, maker of snacks, bedtime song singer, activity planner, secret keeper, safe place to turn, homework checker, meal prepper, alarm clock, dress up player, bedtime kiss-er, clothes washer, house cleaner, board game champion, juice pourer, hair dresser, fort builder, favorite-blanket finder. So this Mother’s Day, celebrate yourself, you badass.
It’s all about you.